


Missed Connection

by rakefire



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Exactly What It Says on the Tin, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Jakku, Missed Connections
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 08:42:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14997104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rakefire/pseuds/rakefire
Summary: xallycatxs: What if Rey met Kylo/Ben first?





	Missed Connection

He didn't belong here.  
  
That was what went though her mind when she saw him the first time.  
  
But then again, no one really belonged on Jakku. The acceptance of the living space seemed more like the result of defeat than the privilege of choice. She didn't belong here either, and the only reason she stayed was because she couldn't leave yet. But he... he didn't belong here.  
  
He was clad in black, a looming figure among white stromtroopers. His strides were long and frantic, as if he wanted to leave as soon as possible, like a broad day light scorched him and he longed for darkness and solitude. His mask was haunting and she wouldn't have thought it could cease to hide the pent-up emotions he harbored beneath, and yet it did. Was it just her who could see it or was everyone else too?  
  
Masks were supposed to cover you, to hide you from the world, from the judging eyes of others, from the secrets that could hint themselves to the surface, from the heat and dust—well, that was what hers was for. She wondered if that was also what went through his mind. Him and his secrets. But certainly, he didn't look like it. He was all heat and ferocity in his contrastingly cold manner. She wondered if he was a gentle person underneath. Or if he used to be, once upon a time.  
  
She compared him to his troops. The white soldiers with blasters in hands—the ever-present lot who monitored and pestered the outpost like they had no better thing to do, and now, they were lined like fences as their master strutted in the desert of Jakku. The stromtroopers were trained to be desensitized and anonymous. She'd heard stories of how they were recruited as children and trained for the rest of their lives until they died, mostly killed in battles. They were disposable, mass-produced dehumanized creatures who served to protect the Empire, and now, the First Order.  
  
It wasn't just them who were conditioned to be less than humans—by proxy, it was the people who faced them too. Everyone who met them had no other choice than seeing them as less than with orders above their heads. Looking at these armor-clad soldiers, she found herself unable to relate. Even though on Jakku, dehumanization also happened in many different ways.  
  
She, for example, was a scavenger. The name was Rey. _Just_ Rey. No family, no one to go home to. Her job was the only identity she'd got and it was given by the circumstances around her. She was a scavenger and nothing else. Days in days out, she would labor herself to starvation to mend the pain of a starving stomach—the irony was never lost on her. She was no better than these soldiers, but at least she'd got her own mind to seek refuge. However, she wondered if they had dreams like she had hers. Did they miss their homes, their parents, their cultures?  
  
And thus, her train of thought led her back to the figure in black: _what about him?_  
  
Who was he? How did he end up where he was now? Was he abducted too? Where did he come from? Who were his parents? What did they look like? What went through his mind when he woke up in the morning? What went through his mind when he wore that mask?  
  
Her eyes were fixated on him as he ordered his soldiers around. They had lined up some of the locals for questioning. She'd heard why they were here from an old merchant standing next to her. They were looking for a droid, and they had massacred Lor San Tekka and his people for it. Evil bunch.  
  
She saw him stalk in front of the locals, his arm raised and his head moved as he scanned them. It was as if he could see the inside of their minds. She wondered if he soon would get her and do the same. What would it feel like?  
  
But it didn't take long for her to see how painful it was. One of the locals whom he mind-probed fell down the sand and screamed before suddenly being silenced by an invisible force. The figure in black clenched his fists and his voice, through a distorted modulator, rumbled, "Where is the droid?"  
  
He asked the question to the open air, as if an answer would conjure itself. Everyone was quiet. Everyone was terrified.  
  
Except Rey.  
  
She didn't know where her boldness came from. But maybe it was him. _From_ him. She couldn't explain it. Maybe it was the fixation she had on him. _Don't look,_ she told herself. _He'll murder you._  
  
And yet, her own advice flew through her mind like another flimsy grain of sand on her feet.  
  
There was... _something._ She wondered if it was because of his larger-than-life figure, or if it was because of how jagged his movement was. _Something._ She couldn't pin it down her mind.  
  
_Something._  
  
She wasn't supposed to empathize with him. He was the bad guy. He was with the First Order. She couldn't even see his face. But she could feel his frustration—he needed that droid. He _must_ have it.  
  
_Something._  
  
She was lost in her mind, trying to make sense of him, when she realized that he had been staring. The closest she could get to that realization was because his head turned toward her. He might've seen someone else, but she somehow knew, his eyes were on her.  
  
Suddenly he stood still. And her breathing hitched.  
  
There was a surge of unrecognizable emotions flooding inside her. Like there was a pull, a hurricane that tried to bust her chest open. She gripped her staff tighter as he started to raise his hand. She wouldn't have to fight him, would she? Because, certainly, she'd be dead.  
  
But then he paused and put his half-way raised hand back to his side.  
  
There was silence. Everyone had their head down, the stormtroopers blankly stared at whatever they could see through those masks. And soon, they all withered, being one with the sand. There was nothing but the flute of wind—and her and the figure in black.  
  
Was this how it felt like when the time stopped? It did sure feel like it.  
  
He didn't want to kill her, she realized. He got no reason to. She didn't have the droid. She was just a nobody in a desert. And yet, there was...  
  
_...something._  
  
She saw his shoulders heave for a moment before he jerked his head away from her. And then he started barking orders to his troops before marching back to his ship.  
  
Rey blinked as the noises around her gradually came back.  
  
Her eyes followed him as he boarded the ship. And it wasn't until he was inside that he looked at her again.  
  
Somehow she knew this wouldn't be the last time they saw each other.  
  
And she realized, he knew that too.


End file.
